Self-confidence is your belief in you.
Self-confidence is something you need to work and build on through your behavior, body language, and speech. You don’t just have it, you learn it throughout life. There are ebbs and flow to confidence.
Confidence can be defined as how we see ourselves, the sense that we can cope with what life throws at us, and the right to be happy. We all have the right to happiness and should pursue it. Happiness doesn’t always come easy but the struggles are what defines our strength. They don’t say it’s always darkest before dawn for no reason.
So just how does one go about increasing their confidence? Start small. You aren’t going to do this all in one day or become a more confident you overnight. It takes times and effort. To start, sit down and pull out your journal. Take stock of where you are at and where you want to go. Also, make a list of what you’ve achieved and your strengths. Start an awesome journal and write down your triumphs.
Re-read your lists whenever you need a little boost.
Think about what is most important to you and your goals. Are they aligned? If not, adjust one or the other. You don’t want to be putting time and effort into something you don’t like or won’t help get you where you want to be. Change is hard and it can be scary to start making changes. Doing things that scare you make you stronger and help boost your confidence.
Stop the negative thoughts. It’s hard to feel confident when you are telling yourself you aren’t good enough, you suck, your fat… whatever it is you scold yourself for. Just stop. You wouldn’t talk that way to your BFF or kids so don’t talk that way to yourself! Being kind and taking care of your self is so important. It’s easier to care and help others if you are happy and healthy as well.
Start creating boundaries. Learn to say no and how to be assertive and have control over your life and time. You don’t have to do everything for everybody. Choose what is important to you and only say yes to those items. Being assertive isn’t a bad thing, being walked all over is. Confident people know what to say no to and how to say. Practice. Use your body language. Standing or sitting up straight when you let someone know you can’t do something for them shows confidence in your decision. Slouching, not making eye contact shows the person you don’t really mean no and they can take advantage. Your posture can betray you. Practice that as well and pretty soon it will become natural and you will get a little boost to your self-confidence.
Lastly, work on taking care of your home and body. If your home is cluttered and dirty, it can be depressing and hard to feel calm and happy. Start clearing away clutter and do little tasks each day to keep your house clean. Put the dishes in the dishwasher instead of the sink. Fold your laundry after ever load. To take care of your body, eat healthy most of the time and start exercising, even if it’s just taking a walk around the block. We all start somewhere and with each new distance, you will gain a little more confidence and eventually you can add in more or different exercise.
Self-confidence won’t happen overnight but if you make a plan and set up some goals you can slowly build yourself up. And remember, we all stumble but how you react shows what you are made of.