Spring is here!
Well, in Arizona it’s already starting to feel like summer. But even with the heat, spring offers another chance to get outside and start fresh. I believe we all need time outdoors to get into the mood to create. Take some time to get fresh air, listen to the birds chip, and watch the lizards chase each other on the fence.
Create some space in your head to help you focus.
I had big plans this weekend to get a lot of editing and writing done. I still have two landscape shoots I want to convert to black & white. I sat down to work and I couldn’t concentrate. So I headed outside with my content planner and did some social media work. I then pulled up a google doc to write my blog post for the week.
I stared at the curser.
My brain wasn’t cooperating. I thought ok, I’ll take a break and watch my shows then start writing again. I watched Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist and by the end of the episode I was crying. It’s a show that always seems to trigger my grief. I love the show. The cast, the writing, the singing and dancing are all amazing but it’s so emotional for me.
I kept trying to get things done but my brain was like nope, we going to have a depression day. We are going to sit on the couch and watch Netflix. So I did. And it’s ok. And I’m not forcing myself to get everything today because I’m still recovering.
Why am I writing this?
Because we need to destigmatize mental illness. Because mosre of us have it than you may realize. Also, I couldn’t get into anything else today. I felt called to write about it. I was going ot write some cheesy post about it being April and rain and creativity blah blah blah but it didn’t feel right. This does.
I tend to present an outward self of fairly happy. I don’t talk about my emotions and state of mind a lot. Most of my battle rages inside. I have general anxiety disorder with a side of OCD and a dash of depression. I say a dash of depression because it’s not alway there like my friends anxiety and OCD.
There’s that old troupe that artists suffer from mental health and addiction and that’s what makes them so creative. Well, let me tell you. My mental health does not help me create. When the depression comes, it’s the last thing I want to do. I don’t want to pick up my camera. I don’t want to write. I just want to lay on the couch.
Now, creativity does help me keep the anxiety at bay. Creating, listening to music, running all help to keep anxiety in check. It’s probably why I always want to be doing something. Maybe sometimes, like yesterday, it’s good to sit with your emotions. To sit and not do anything.
Sometimes it feels like my depression is a way to force me to slow down.
So, whats my point? We all need to take time for ourselves and acknowledge emotions as they come up. My grief has lessened over the years but it pops up from time to time. We also need to acknowledge our mental health. It’s not a negative character trait. It’s part of us. Some of us need outlets while others need medication. You do what you need to take care of yourself. If your leg is broken you don’t ignore it. Please don’t ignore your mental health either.